Chipmunks Part 2, the Wrath of Carl

Husband: The chipmunk got the peanut butter without tripping the trigger on the cage. Unreal.

Wife: Take it back to Farm and Fleet, it doesn’t work.

Husband: Errrrrrr. Maybe it was a fluke. I’ll try again.

Reset trap, use more peanut butter. Practice tripping the trigger. Seems to work fine.

Husband: Unreal, they did it again. How the hec do they manage to get the peanut butter without tripping the trigger?

Wife: Take it back, it doesn’t work.

Husband: Errrrrrr. This time I’ll put some peanut butter on the trip mechanism and on the roof of the trap so they will have to stand on the trip mechanism and thus be caught.

Wife: Uh-huh.

Husband: Errrrrrr. They cleaned off the trip mechanism and ignored the peanut butter on the roof.

Wife: I saw one yesterday when I was reading on the patio. He walked into the cage, had a snack and left without setting it off. I think they are getting fatter.

Husband: Errrrrrrrr. I’m going to Farm and Fleet for Poison Peanuts.

Wife: Awwwwww, they are cute.

Husband: Errrrr.

Husband goes to Farm and Fleet for Poison Peanuts and has-a-heart instead. Pays $15.00 for a canister of what looks to be fertilizer. It’s supposed to give a scent chipmunks don’t like. They are supposed to not like it to the point that they leave on their own accord and become a nuisance to someone else. Husband resets the trap and spreads the substance around their burrows. Two days later…

Wife: I saw one this morning. They have not left yet.

Husband: Errrrrrrr, and they got the peanut butter again without tripping the trigger.

Wife: You are starting to remind me of Carl Spackler from Caddy Shack. You are becoming obsessed.

Husband doing his best Carl Spackler imitation: “License to kill chipmunks by the government of the United Nations. Man, free to kill chipmunks at will. To kill, you must know your enemy, and in this case my enemy is a varmint. And a varmint will never quit – ever. They’re like the Viet Cong – Varmint Cong. So you have to fall back on superior intelligence and superior firepower. And that’s all she wrote. ”

Wife: Hmmmmmm

After doing a little research the husband discovers that Have-a-Heart traps are not all that sensitive. No kidding. Husband finds out that one guy hot-glued a thimble to the roof of the trap so the little varmints had to stand on the trip mechanism to get at the peanut butter inside the thimble. Husband does not have a hot glue gun and does not want to invest any more money into rodent control. Wife suggests a medicine cup that is used for pills. Husband fills cup with peanut butter and smears a generous portion of peanut butter on the trip mechanism. He then inverts the filled cup thus “glueing” the cup to the trip mechanism.

Husband one day later: It’s unbelievable. They got in there and the trap sprung, but one door did not close properly and he got out.

Wife: Take it back, it doesn’t work.

Husband: Errrrrr. And believe it or not they stole the cup! And they don’t have hands! How is this possible?

Wife: LOL

Husband: Errrrrrrr

2 comments on “Chipmunks Part 2, the Wrath of Carl

  1. Carl:

    Our Chipmunk problem is back after relocating them in 2012. Was catching up on your little rascals and discovered this entry. So sorry things aren’t going your way, but it’s awfully funny to hear your story. Again! So Sorry!!

    We had no problem with the peanut butter in the trap, so I’m guessing your little guys are super intelligent. Not to insult Canadian chipmunks, but our guys are aren’t too bright and go in willingly, even though they’ve tricked us a couple of times, but we persevered.

    Hubby has even found a couple dead ones in our garage, in his work shoes (found out the hard way!!) and in the rain barrel. We really believe our little guys came back or that’s what the clerk at our local feed store told us. He says you have to take them right out of town!!

    We’ve given up, going to live with them and see what happens despite the growing tunnels that are sprouting up all around our yard. If you find that miracle of miracles, please let us know.

    Regards to both of you – we feel your pain.

    Twila and Nat Dick
    Rigeway, Ontario, Canada

    Web Site:- http://www.twila.me

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